Five things to learn about the Indian culture from Humpty Sharma ki dulhaniya

1. Every Indian girl wants to dress up like a DIVA for her wedding day. And at times the obsession with the wedding dress supersedes every other emotion so much so that planning that's required to get into a relationship as serious as marriage, is being sidelined completely .

As shown in the movie too, the designer lehenga, many a times becomes more crucial than actually getting to know the person you are marrying.

2.    "My lehenga has to be more expensive that the cousin's lehenga" says Alia in the movie.

We are a highly competitive breed and extremely generous while showing off.

In a typical wedding in India, the entire family leaves no stone unturned to capitalise on this once-in-a-life-time opportunity to show everyone around that they are wealthier.

3.    There's absolutely no need for Indian men to be good at studies or have a good career. All our girls prefer here are boys-next-door. Guys who go blackmailing the professor to pass them in the exams (like varun in the movie) , get our girls turned on much more than a suave and sophisticated Doctor (poor Sidhartha Shukla in the movie).

4.    Best friends, in India, have no other work to do than follow you around wherever you go and get things sorted for you. I wonder what would poor Poplu and Shonty in the movie do once Alia and Varun settle down. Their life would become meaningless and job-less as all they seem to be doing in the entire movie is circling around Varun and doing things for him and have absolutely no life of their own.

5.    No matter how much we develop, patriarchy still rules at our homes. Our mothers shall hardly have any roles in making decisions and always tell daughters like Alia's mother does in the movie "ye papa ka faisla hai, ye hi final hai" .

And all the brothers of young girls out here are expert hooligans. After all the only way they can justify their existence is by beating up the guys coming after their sisters .

P.S. Having said all the above (with the pun that was intended) , I did like the chemistry between Alia and Varun and by no means am trying to discourage you from watching the movie :-)

Grown out of my diapers, Let me decide what do I wear people !!

Okay, folks I am on a sabbatical (yay..yay...dancing in my red hula skirt) from almost a month now. Hubby got transferred to the "city of dreams" (Mumbai) and I decided to join him here.

Have been slacking around a lot, sleeping and eating being my major activities. Had a frantically hectic life for almost a year n a half , so could not make an entry here (and more over had started maintaining a journal  as the things I wanted to record were not to be discussed here, you must have got a clue by my last entry :-P)

Now since I have ample amount of time at my discretion, You will see me here more often :-)

Cutting the crap and coming straight to the point, the thought that appealed to the blogger inside me came from a discussion I had with one of my childhood friends few days back and then the blog-entry by Preeti  that I came across, followed by a discussion in a group-chat about pros n cons of both Indian as well as western cultures.

The discussion I had with the friend was about how much she craves to wear short-skirts and shorts and cannot because her husband doesn't approve of it as these dresses aren't for women from cultured families in his opinion . And as if this wasn't enough, He also disapproves of working in an office-setup and wants her to stick to a teaching job because" in offices the females aren't seen in a good light and aren't respected enough", says he. Go on, Sigh in dispel !!  Because that's what I did too.

 My first question to her was "how much right do you have in selecting what would he wear or where should he work, if you decide that he can only wear a dhoti-kurta now on, will he comply?" and pat came a reply "Dude, I am happy that at least now he has "allowed" me to wear jeans, earlier he didn't like that too".

Not that I have anything against traditional Indian wears, I love them, But I have a big problem with someone else taking decisions for an adult.A mutual discussion is welcomed, but if a person doesn't take his/her own decisions, he/she doesn't qualify to be called an adult. Period!

No, I am not going to write anything against the chap here. It is not his fault completely. He, like a lot of others, has been raised in an environment where it is an acceptable norm for male species of the family to be the decision-makers and females, the abiders. Most of us have been conditioned in a way that women are to behave and dress  in a certain manner and seek approval (unless they are ready to be called bitches often like yours truly ;-P). And here I am talking about the educated lot like my friend's hubby too.

I am rather not going to talk about the problem here, only solutions. Let's brainstorm.

Is the Equality, that a handful feminists keep demanding for, something we need to ask men to give us?? And , Why do we keep blaming them for not giving it to us?? They are not themselves clear, very confused in fact. And most of the modern men I know are trying to come out of the conventionally-conditioned-cocoon of theirs. But the society around pulls them back, calling them too liberal or too docile. I have first-hand experience of it, people(mostly women themselves) keep telling me how lucky I am to have a husband who "gives" me so much freedom and "helps" me with all- most all the chores. Well, I "give" the same to him , in abundance, but nobody ever praises his fortune, may be because it's quite normal for a woman to do all this and more. Right?

Women need to believe first of all that they are equal in every sense, and no one but they themselves , will decide how would they behave , dress or work or who would they spend their lives with, for that matter. All mothers if they decide to correct this situation today, we will have a different scenario ten-twenty years down the line. We have to get rid of this mentality that men have to earn and women to handle house so the former is superior. First, This is just an arrangement, do whatever suits you, irrespective of gender, one person can earn and the other can look after kids and house or both can work and get some help to look after house n kids while they are out for work. And whosoever chooses to be at home , which is highly under-rated yet an equally important job if not more, should not be treated any less. I still remember my mum telling me during school-days "If you won't study well, you will have to spend your entire life in the kitchen like us". It was supposed to be dreadful. And honestly all of us (My girl-friends and I) used to believe that earning money will make us superior in some form. Again, the conditioning, Earning members (Males) having the upper hand always had to do with it.

Today, if you ask me, I will tell my girl to study well to acquire knowledge and become financially independent. She can choose any career she wishes to be in and or can decide to manage home too. All I would want from her is that she is an honest and independent individual ; financially and emotionally, capable enough to have her own opinions and decisions. If I have a boy, I would educate him exactly the same. I will teach both to be independent and responsible for themselves , competent enough to manage all their chores and expenses on their own, be honest, and respect everyone around equally, irrespective of the gender,caste,community or social-status they belong to. And in my opinion, we all need to educate our children the same (and not to lecture to behave or dress in a certain manner because society expects that, come-on we are already in 21st century).So that tomorrow, We have a country of people who are responsible, respectful and have a mind of their own and do not have to seek or give approvals for something as trivial as what to wear or where to work.

Being financially independent is another aspect to be given importance to.Why should one gender in particular be made liable for all the finances. Girls, if they too shall work and earn, will only bring back home a broader vision and mind-set towards the world (and not to forget ,a lot of money), that shall be in every way advantageous to the entire family.

We need to create equal opportunities and alike prospects to make choices for everyone irrespective of the gender,caste,community or social-status. I have personally seen families (families with high social status and income included) who consider a boy's education-expenditure as an investment and a girl's as a liability. This friend in the context could not come for an MBA with me as her parents chose to invest that money in her brother's higher education, as they could only afford one's, and moreover they decided to keep the money for her wedding-expenses, despite her being many folds better than her brother in every aspect. And later paid a handsome amount on dowry to get her this chap to manage what she wears and where she would work.

Stop paying dowries, such customs should have no place in today's (in-fact in any) world. Come on people, Spend the same money in making your girl a capable and independent individual. And heck, what do we have education-loans for, let people do and excel wherever their heart lies at. I wonder today, Had she been a different individual if she had completed her further studies and then took up a job. Not sure, as I have seen a lot of educated and working women also accepting and following all these rules and customs blindly.

But Certainly, says my soliloquy, she would have had an altogether different perspective towards life. And who knows, would have been an inspiration for many the way she was in school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Angry Bird

I just want to adorn someone with at least ten tight slaps across the face and then wrap the wire of my laptop around his neck and strangle till his tongue comes out ….!!

Someone who is so slow that if we convert his speed of doing assignments into a vehicle’s speed, even the Luna and cycle rickshaw riders shall overtake him within seconds. His approach towards work is so complicated that if you ask him the direction towards loo , he will sit back, will scratch his head for another few minutes, then take out a piece of paper and make not less than four flow charts of guiding the way towards the loo, which is merely 50 meters away from his cabin, and then call all available in his vicinity and ask everyone’s views on all those flow charts and then will tell me (yes, always) to analyze it further and make a presentation out of it and hand it over to the person (who would have had peed his pants by then) after running some fifty simulations on it.

Just collect your jaw from the floor and imagine how we tolerate him on a daily basis !! Sheer Pain !!

Hum bhi agar Bachhe hote :-)

Do you think too much about what people shall have to say about anything you do or say??

Are you of those kinds who are scared of showing their fun side in public just to ensure you don’t lose any respect??

Have you ever let go your deepest desires because of the consequences that society might adorn you with??

If you fit in any of the above (or all of them, just in case) – remotely or from-tip-to-toe, you are not only missing a lot in life my dear but also killing yourself that too with slow poison.

When I was a kid I got to hear that we get to live only once, and get a life of human after taking birth as some 84 billion other species. And since then a board nailed at somewhere inside me says - There’s only one life…and you can make it whatever you want…can play around it however you want….should squeeze the fullest out of it…don’t even let a single moment get wasted in foolish apprehensions such as “what will people say”, Because Its totally, completely and abso-flippin-lutely your life and you are the whole-sole in-charge of it, moreover you are not going to get it again… you might earn crores but you shall never be able to buy back the time you wasted in worrying.

I firmly believe that its better to be incredibly insane than awfully boring. That’s why I have not only kept the kid in me pretty active but also nurtured it throughout the odyssey of triumphs and disasters. Don’t let yourself devoid of the innocence and inquisitiveness of a child. It shall help you grow at the similar pace a child does in both your professional and personal domains.

Dance when glad, shed few droplets when sad, learn to share, get dirty in mud n wet in rains, stop competing (no one ever got a quota in heaven for being the First and best throughout his life), love deeply and madly (and in all other ways too), if you desired, pull out all you have and make it happen (considering that all who read my posts are not psycho paths or serial killers :-)).

Start with the “we live in society, shall have to follow certain norms” and related Gyan.

My take – We have a society full of mediocre people, who shall not have the guts to follow their hearts but shall definitely praise others who do. So, chances (and very bright) are that you shall be respected n appreciated more for doing what you long for and stand for. Because many others around could not and will not.

Let’s not be ordinary and run of the mill types, Let’s be different, Let’s exuberate a kid-like energy always, Lets be thoroughly insane, Let’s be the change we want in the society, Lets be the initiators n moreover, Let’s be ourselves…Leaving aside all the inhibitions :-)

Let’s be the architects of an odyssey worth narrating to our grand children some day!!

A curve that sets everything straight :-)

Droning routines, and a lot of them, that’s every day and every one’s story now days. And I have not been an exception.

However there are few people and incidents, sometimes familiar n anticipated and sometimes not-so-usual, which not only bring me out from the daily ennui but also leave a smile on my face.

This post is dedicated to everything n everyone who have helped (knowingly/unknowingly) in making sunny and brighter my otherwise dull days.

1. A lie from my darling hubby that after putting on some 6 kgs in last 6 months, I still look the same

2. A friend’s call at midnight who’s feeling nostalgic after seeing our college time pics (yeah, I at times don’t mind waking up in half of my sleep too)

3. An uncle in his sixties, passing by,hands in hands with his wifey,… (well,what has age to do with the romance?)

4. A girl ,sitting next to a b oy on his motorbike, cuddling him gently(My hubby says that couples on bikes are happier than couples in four wheelers, and such incidents make sure to keep our belief firm :-))

5. An adoring mom who doesn’t even let 24 hours pass by after we spoke and makes another call with a dismayed tone “Bhul gayi mujhko??” (“Have you forgotten me??”).There are always few benefits attached to a Filmy mother, I tell you, along with a big tag saying handle-with-super –care ;-)

6. Pictures of cute little kiddos of friends and acquaintances on several social networking sites... There can not be anything more beautiful than the feeling of parenthood.

7. Anyone who says “you seem to have lost some weight”….this one makes any woman’s day…doesn’t it??

8. A hug from my grandmother… and the way she makes her favoritism towards me obvious…I can’t explain the pleasure I experience after looking at the faces of my poor siblings at such times!! (I know you hate me for saying it Suchi n Abhi :-P)

9. Washroom gossip sessions with friends in office…. Many a times, we go inside with full of frustration and come out realizing that others are facing even worse…and then there are other times when all the annoyance disappears while discussing (read bitching about) some hot extra marital, somebody’s foul language or awful dressing sense and some despos who we plan to give a gift wrapped rakhi.

No matter what it is, it always leaves me rejuvenated and relieved!!

10. A small note saying “well done” ….. after acting as a super-woman whole day, managing everything right from the morning breakfast on time till meeting official deadlines… a simple “u did it well” makes a lot of difference…be it from anyone or for anything…it just makes all the efforts worthwhile.

That was a quick sneak-in into my laundry list.

So, what’s that made you smile today??

Review - Movie - Delhi Belly

Director: Abhinay Deo
Starring: Imran Khan, Kunaal Roy Kapur, Poorna Jagannathan, Vir Das and Shenaz Treasurywala

Version: Hinglish
My Rating: 4 ( on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the highest)

Story: Shit (and a lot of it) happens with friends cum flat-mates, Tashi (played by Imran Khan), Nitin (played by Kunal Kapur) and Arup (played by Vir Das) when they inadvertently swap a cache of diamonds that has to be delivered to a local gangster (played marvelously by Vijay Raaz) by a stool sample( Yeah, sh*t literally happens :-)).

Tashi ‘s awfully silly and pesky girlfriend Sonia (played by Shenaz Treasurywala) has only one motive in life i.e to tie the knot, Arup ‘s girlfriend dumps him abruptly and his annoying boss keeps making his life more miserable by asking him to make a banana sketch look happier and Nitin is experiencing the worst case of Delhi-belly because of some street – stuff he had. Meghna (played by Poorna Jagannathan) ,who’s a colleague cum alternate love(lust) interest of Tashi ,gels very well in to this strange blend along with her psycho and super obsessive husband (ex) who frantically chases his ex wife ‘s car with a gun in hand.

It’s a non-complicated story with plenty of situations, twists and expletives that will leave you feeling disgusted as well as delighted simultaneously. As promised in the trailers, it is full of uncouth and foul humor and can be digested only by people having an appetite for adult comedy. Rest of them might detest it!!

Script: Akshat Verma has adorned Bollywood with one of the wittiest scripts it has ever witnessed. It is definitely different from all its contemporaries, simply because in spite of making desperate attempts to make you laugh, it weaves events that will leave you spell bound and rolling on the floor with laughters.

Direction: A break –less movie, squeezed in ninety minutes and no songs or dancing around the trees… Completely Hollywood ishtyled :-)..which is a refreshing change from the usual. Abhinay Deo deserves a round of applause for his excellent direction of this Hollywood-styled-desi-flick.

Cinematography: Right from a filthy house full of creeping cockroaches to an awestruck gun-fight in a hotel room and the crashing of the ceiling with a foot from above floor getting stuck, Delhi belly showers scenes and events shot in a detailed-oriented yet quick manner which without trying too hard shocks you at a moment and brings giggles on your face at the very next moment.

Dialogues and Music: Since I watched the hinglish version, most of the dialogues were in English and were very well related to the story line. Though few people might argue about the choice and usage of language but at the end of the day that’s how our young generation speaks now days.

Music , again is targeted towards the youngsters. Movie has some five- six peppy numbers; most of them have already become the talk of the town. My personal favorite one is “Switty-switty”.

Performances: Imran delivers his best till date, Kunal’s belly-gurgles and in-the-loo-struggling –for- water-scenes are disgusting yet hilarious and Vir is quite convincing in his good-for-nothing avatar.

Both the ladies fit the bill. Vijay Raaz as a gangster delivers one of his show-stealing performances.

Rest of the characters blend well in the cocktail in order to add more flavors and making it tastier and all the way more intoxicating :-)

A Smart script full of wacky moments and bizarre events, Loads of twists and turns, Enormous usage of the rude slangs, and few great performances…All this and more, woven in one flick…All in all,ninety well-spent minutes :-)

P.S. : Kudos to -

1. Amir Khan : For his brave attempt

2. Censor Board : For showing the “dariyadili” to pass the movie without much cuts :-)